Some secrets are better kept quiet (according to that famous Gandalf quote, the one about anticipating a good meal): “Many folk like to know beforehand what is to be set on the table; but those who have laboured to prepare the feast like to keep their secret; for wonder makes the words of praise louder.” That little gem does not apply here, as TheOneRing.net continues its decades-long quest to separate truth from nonsense behind any Tolkien adaptation coming our way.
For you see–a wild bombshell appeared on 4chan on Jan. 15, 2024, claiming knowledge of fully-detailed plot points and episodes that was quickly regurgitated on our Discord server (now deleted). The contents of this post caused shockwaves on our TORn Discord; as it shocked and dismayed me. But also much of its contents have been corroborated fully by someone close to the Producers who shared more information. Better fasten your seatbelts, dear Ringers, it’s gonna be a bumpy night.
[MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD FOR “TROP” SEASON 2 THROUGHOUT, NO HOLDS BARRED, NOTHING WITHHELD, PROCEED WITH CAUTION]
As the Production Calendar continues apace on Season 2 of Prime Video’s “The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power,” (rumor has it Season 3’s halfway written!) certain enigmatic details are clearer while other things remain deeply shrouded. It’s like scrying in the Mirror of Galadriel without any guidance.
Nonetheless, it is now being discussed openly that Amazon secretly acquired the rights to “The Silmarillion” for use in this 2nd Season! This is seismic news! It is even more insane to think something so significant has happened and the Studio has said nothing about it at the time of this article’s publication.
Let’s start with the Big Bad Wolf-Maia himself, the “Halbrand of your dreams” (ooof), that guy who would deign to be THE Lord of the Rings:
SAURON / HALBRAND
TROP Director Charlotte Brändström has said in interviews that the 1st Ep. of the new Season will be a “Standalone episode.” We have been reporting for 15 months on our TORn Tuesday Livestream show that this “Season Opener” will dedicate itself entirely to Sauron, his backstory, and his misadventures prior to what we saw mystery-boxed as the Halbrand storyline of Season 1. We may ultimately find out how and why Sauron took the form of that particular human and how he managed to be in the middle of the ocean at exactly the right time to start his lengthy charade with Galadriel. It goes without saying that Season 1 would have been dramatically different if the Showrunners had used the literary device of Dramatic Irony instead of employing this lamentable mystery-boxing approach.
Why was there such trenchant animosity between Adar and Sauron? Newly leaked info says the conflict between them is fueled by a tragic death: Sauron evidently had a SON — and Adar evidently killed him in cold blood prior to the events of Season 1. Nothing close to this appears in Tolkien’s stories.
Further spoilers: in Season 2 Adar (well-played by actor Joseph Mawle, now replaced by Sam Hazeldine) will surrender to Sauron and become one of his generals, only to betray him again later on. Also, at some point Sauron presents himself to the Dwarves and straight up tells them he “apprenticed under Aulë,” at which point he is immediately accepted in their midst.
Season 2 will conclude with this final shot: the forging of the One Ring by Sauron’s hand, leading one to necessarily assume the other Seven and the Nine will be forged at some point by this Season’s end (unless the Showrunners deem it necessary to keep changing the historical order of things).
RIGHTS TO “THE SILMARILLION” ACQUIRED?!
Most significantly, according to verifiable spy reports Prime Video has secretly acquired the rights to “The Silmarillion” — unbeknownst to us. We are hearing that Season 2 opens with a genesis story more fitting the Ainulindalë! After many years of speculation and hundreds of hours of discussion about this very thing, it comes as a deep shock to me (as a Tolkien fan and generally speaking as an observer of Popular Culture) that the Tolkien Estate has, at long last, allowed the gates to finally be opened and nobody has said a word about it! Ladies and gentlemen, could it be true that “The Silmarillion” has now become an officially licensed property for adaptation?! If so, the hugest of caveats must be stated: this is a singular case for now. Perhaps unique.
THE MUSIC OF THE AINUR (quoting from the original post): “The opening scene of Ep. 1 is Eru [Ilúvatar] using the Secret Flame to create Melkor, and Melkor watching as Eru creates all the Valar and the Maiar. Eru is a disembodied voice vaguely human shaped but no characteristics can be made out. The Secret Flame is golden, as are all the Valar and the Maiar. The Valar are larger than the Maiar, but they are bathed in a golden light and completely naked. The actor playing Mairon in this realm is NOT Charlie Vickers or Gavi Singh Chera–it is a third actor. Gave Singh Chera will play Sauron in his battle form and his Annatar form.” We can now fully confirm that a grand total of three actors shall play Sauron in different forms. Additionally, the two actors playing Melkor and Ungoliant in the Ainulindalë shall appear LATER in Season 2 as different incarnations.
I mean — just wow!
Further details are exposed: “A whole episode is dedicated to Sauron’s backstory leading up to the breaking of the First Silence. After the Fourth interruption of the song [Theme], several Maiar meet and discuss Melkor’s discord. Mairon/Sauron alone speaks: ‘The One has blessed me more so than all of you to see the potential of His creations, and what better way to forge their mettle than by allowing them to face Melkor’s discord and grow beyond what they think capable!’ You will see Mithrandir [Olórin] in this scene. Mairon almost converts him. Almost.”
Four Themes? There were only Three, as we all know, so perhaps this is a typo. Or perhaps the most obvious thing that would happen to “The Silmarillion” being adapted is that it would be unnecessarily changed.
Seasoned readers of Tolkien will probably be agape at this ambitious retelling of “The Music of the Ainur” but newcomers who have never read a speck of the original book may be mystified. It seems clear now that the intention of this show is to explore the earliest mythological roots of these immortal characters: a narrative consideration never previously afforded to any Valar / Maiar characters.
This still doesn’t explain the “meteor man” thingy that suddenly brought Gandalf / Olórin / The Stranger into the Second Age, but why quibble?
The further impact of this reality should be weighed carefully, for it represents a point of no return with those tales. The Quenta Silmarillion, the tragedy of Beren and Luthien, the Fall of Gondolin: all of which may now be adapted for T.V. or Film or other media if the Estate allows and arrangements are made. What a tremendous thing. It opens up a whole new era of possibilities.
GALADRIEL & CELEBORN
The fact that Celeborn has been kept offstage in Season 1 as a red herring (you know, that bit about him being supposedly dead yet Galadriel doesn’t know a thing about it) simply does not ring true to Tolkien’s original works. The Professor re-wrote and revised the story of G&C many times, but never do we see a hint leaning towards this in the Appendices, nor in “Unfinished Tales.” Beyond this fumble in the narrative of Season 1, we have now confirmed that our “dearly departed” Celeborn IS INDEED NOT DEAD (as readers of Tolkien already knew) but will show up in Season 2 being impersonated by Sauron.
Indeed, one of Sauron’s disguises to return to Eregion (how many can there be, beyond Annatar?) is the form of Celeborn. We assume this plan is to dupe Elrond, Celebrimbor, and Galadriel at the same time.
More subterfuge! The chicanery at Galadriel’s expense continues apace. This portrayal of the Lady of Light as one who keeps getting duped over and over by Sauron–when Tolkien never once allowed that to happen in his accounts– is certainly a choice, and one that has drawn much criticism. Personally it is one of the first things that comes up in friendly conversation about TROP: I am forced to explain that Galadriel was never fooled like that!
I wonder where they will go with that, ultimately. How long will Galadriel continue to withhold the truth of her Season 1 relationship with Halbrand, and why did the Writers put her in such an untenable position with the other Elves? One assumes it is a ploy wherein Sauron might return and blackmail her if she has not been forthcoming about it. Remember that look Elrond gave her after he saw the parchment of Southland genealogy? “There’s no basement in the Alamo!” And there’s no Halbrand! Some ugly business lies ahead with Celeborn being impersonated by Sauron.
Spy reports indicate the REAL Celeborn will appear in the Season 2 Finale and be reunited with Galadriel. He shall be played by Calam Lynch, as reported by Fellowship of Fans and corroborated by others. Thank God for simple truths–because the lad is a dead ringer for a younger Marton Czokas.
THE FATE OF CELEBRIMBOR
Poor Brimby. Everyone loves Brimby. He’s the avuncular surprise (certainly as portrayed by Charlie Edwards) in Fëanor’s genealogical line of stupendously serious Elves. As fond as we may be of his green-robed gentle nature, we confirm now that in Season 2 Celebrimbor’s head gets lopped off and stuck up on a pike. Womp womp! We are getting closer to what Tolkien wrote here, as this is Brimby’s closest proximity to being the Ned Stark of Middle-earth.
I don’t quite get this episode structure–but it seems the final two episodes of TROP Season 2 will be centered on The War of the Elves and Sauron, wherein Eregion is sacked.
TOM BOMBADIL & GOLDBERRY
This is where stuff gets potentially ugly. I don’t like using such words. As previously mentioned, there will be separate standalone episodes presented throughout Season 2; including Sauron’s backstory uniquely told from his first-person point-of-view. All of this is likely to change before the final edit is broadcast. But if this holds true, Tom Bombadil and his love affair with the River-Daughter will be front-and-center in their own episode (there’s even an episode on Felaróf and the origin of Shadowfax)!
Ringers have often opined that bringing Tom Bombadil into TROP would be super cool — and I have personally championed the notion. But at the heart of this matter is how Tolkien utilized the character in “The Fellowship of the Ring,” an approach for others to heed carefully. Tom should have a cameo or a brief encounter with some of our traveling heroes. Admittedly Tom’s presence is superfluous to the real story of the Great Rings of Power. Now imagine this character’s narrative purpose going a big step further and just wildly breaking from the Lore. In the words of our Spy Report:
“Tom Bombadil and Goldberry are in an episode. They are played by the same actor and actress as Melkor/Morgoth and Ungoliant. The show will confirm the long-held fan theory that Tom and Goldberry are Melkor and Ungoliant serving out their punishment bestowed on them by Mandos.“
Excuse me? There has never been such a “Fan Theory,” not one that I have seen–and if I had heard of this cockamamie idea I would have laughed at the absurdity. To quote the pique and anger of a well-known Tolkien historian who heard this: “This is not a fan theory, this is just Fan Fiction; and it’s really GARBAGE Fan Fiction at that!”
Personally, I would love to see Tom Bombadil show up — if only in the blink of an eye he would be on his merry way. I mean, come on, there is no need to ignore The Professor’s explanation in his “Letters” about Bombadil’s context in his Legendarium. No need to make up stuff about Morgoth and Ungoliant seeking atonement within the Circles of the World.
Pragmatically speaking, adaptations can and will change things from the Lore. This is mostly fine, and expected, within reason. It becomes unreasonable when you play that fast and loose with Tolkien’s original concerns regarding raw story elements. This kind of stuff will, predictably, divide the Fan audience.
… FELARÓF & SHADOWFAX?!
If you were not mystified yet by some of these storytelling choices, TROP Season 2 will have a full episode about the great line of Horses, the Mearas, and how Gandalf “The Stranger” met Shadowfax! Although these characters/animals did not exist in the Second Age, evidently we are getting the story of Felaróf the “Very Valiant,” if not also the story of the father of Eorl, a Man by the name of Léod.
Here we have a wide range of secrets exposed and an earth-shaking reveal about the licensing of “The Silmarillion.”
Strangely, the Studio behind this billion-dollar T.V. show remains stoic and silent; their social accounts barren since last July, not a single bit of marketing nor a press release has been forthcoming. Tellingly, a huge Amazon Prime commercial aired in the U.S. during the Prime Time Emmy Awards broadcast, without any mention of TROP. Not. A. Single. Word. TROP has also been removed from Prime Video’s FYC awards website.
Make of that what you will.
IN CONCLUSION — TOLKIEN BOOKS VS. ADAPTATIONS
As is the reality with a huge T.V. production, there are further moves to be made, pickups to shoot, tons of post production and editing yet to complete. However, these Spy Reports may or MAY NOT be reliable but we have already known (through our own secret channels) about 40% of this stuff before the big leak on January 15, 2024. With enough of this verified we are at least eager to throw the doors wide open and have some robust discussion. Time for Ringer fans everywhere to discuss, make hay, extrapolate, and poke with a stick.
Do you like what you are hearing? Are you excited or dismayed? Are you wondering as I am why there is stone-cold silence from the Studio after such wildly big moves behind closed doors? What will future horizons look like with “The Silmarillion” now that THAT huge epic is on the table? Or is it just some odd bits of “The Silmarillion” they can use here and there? Time will tell.
This series was always gonna be a mixed bag of familiar lore and newly minted ideas, methinks. TROP ostensibly benefits from being a somewhat separate (albeit huge) piece of Second Age story from the books’ Appendices that can be centered around particular characters and events. There is ample room to breathe within the narrative of the Appendices and yet it is wholly unnecessary to wildly diverge from the source material. What J.R.R. Tolkien intended and what the current Tolkien Estate (headed by Simon Tolkien) has allowed for this streaming program is, shall we say, quite divergent from one another.
It is for Ringers, with their undying love for the original books, to decide if Prime Video executed this effort reasonably and within the spirit of Tolkien’s original. It is also apparent they had a 36% completion rate on Season 1. Speaking for myself, the series started off just fine. I quite enjoyed the atmosphere, production design, a thrilling cast of talented actors, and especially the gargantuan score by Bear McCreary. Lots of stuff to admire there. Indeed there are those who will argue for either side, but in this writer’s opinion, these Spy Reports (combined with further research and reveals from inside the Production) betray significant departures from the Lore of Tolkien’s Legendarium and put the show at risk to be rejected rather than embraced by that less-forgiving portion of our fandom.
*EDITOR’S NOTE: Clifford Broadway is one of the earliest writers/contributors to TheOneRing.net from the beginning, authoring material in our “Green Books” academic section and also for numerous publications including DeviantArt and Famous Monsters of Filmland. He co-wrote and produced the award-winning feature documentary “Ringers: Lord of the Fans.”
If you have a Tolkien/Middle-earth inspired poem you’d like to share, then send it to poetry@theonering.net. One poem per person may be submitted each month. Please make sure to proofread your work before sending it in. TheOneRing.net is not responsible for poems posting with spelling or grammatical errors.
Amazon Studios’ LOTR Series Heads Into Uncharted Carnal Waters with Casting Call for Nudity and an “Intimacy Coordinator”
This might be a singularly surprising or even upsetting concept to present to Tolkien fans. If I were to address this reality to Star Wars, or Harry Potter, or even Miyazaki fandom it could raise eyebrows or outright alarm. But gather ’round the campfire and hear my tremulous words:
“Prepare for a newly-sexualized version of your favorite fantasy world.”
It’s the equivalent of saying: “Get ready to watch Anakin and Padme do something onscreen that will forever alter the way you see Star Wars. Sorry about the sand. It gets everywhere.”
Is this a real lightning rod issue? Depends on your temperament. I have to be really careful about presumed gatekeeping (which is not my intention) or any semblance of that; I just want this discussion WAY out in the open. Let’s get to the heart of this, because it is a thing now.
We must clearly ask ourselves what we want and don’t want from a billion-dollar Tolkien TV adaptation, because the tracks are laid and that train is headed straight for us, via your streaming device and paid subscription.
It is needful to discuss and understand those qualities of Tolkien’s work that are most important to us. Fair to say we have a worldwide multigenerational scholarly and fan community that share some great common denominators of what “fidelity” means in an adaptation of Tolkien. Thankfully we have shared voices; and if we shout from the rooftops collectively Amazon Studios might, perchance, just listen.
Let’s tell them what we expect. We are the audience they need to win over, after all.
T/W: By necessity, our topics today include sex organs, bodily functions, sexual abuse and rape in other fantasy TV shows, and coordinating intimacy—so here’s the trigger warning ahead of time. New territory for TheOneRing.net, BUT HEY IT’S 2020! Bear with me. We may find an egalitarian way forward in this conversation.
Amazon’s Approach: Will There Be Sex On Screen?
Fact check: We can confirm Amazon Studios has hired Jennifer Ward-Lealand, a well-known New Zealand Intimacy Coordinator, for the Lord of the Rings production.
The only Amazon show in NZ is Lord of the Rings, a production so overwhelmingly large that Auckland film unions report that over 80% of all local production crew are working on it, leaving no crew for other TV shows. It should be known that instead of clearly stating to be on LOTR, Ms. Ward-Lealand’s official site declares the acronym for “Untitled Amazon Project” / UAP is listed on her upcoming projects, first reported on Knight Edge Media and other sites. We know for sure Amazon’s UAP is the catch-all working title for LOTR. Remember how “Jamboree” and “Little Rivers” were the working titles for Peter Jackson’s LOTR and Hobbit Trilogies, respectively. But how much nudity is Amazon considering?
Fact check: Rumor! An open casting call for background extras “comfortable with nudity” appeared. Just how many naked extras do you need for a classy, romantic love-making scene?
Caleb Williams dug deep while reflecting on some of our earlier reporting on TheOneRing.net of new casting announcements by BGT Casting; stating ‘must be comfortable with nudity’ for upcoming roles in LOTR. Put two and two together: there’s an Intimacy Coordinator who serves an important role to ensure the well-being of actors during sex scenes (or with nudity) and then we learn nudity in certain roles is openly asked for.
Will Characters Be ‘Sexified’ That Weren’t In Tolkien’s Books?
Fact Check: Unknown! The precise story they’re telling is unknown, as is the time within the 2nd Age wherein it’s all set. Don’t know what’s in the scripts, their content, nor what proper characters are associated with already-established cast members. We do know who plays a handful of the leads (Galadriel, Elrond) with best guesswork. We follow these actors on Instagram but we don’t know exactly who this ‘Tyra’ characters is because Tolkien never named one.
We surely don’t know who’s involved in scenes of nudity/sexuality. Debate is now open on where that would be necessary in a grand story of Númenor or the Elven-smiths of Eregion, or the welcoming halls of Khazad-dûm in its pre-Balrog glory.
We do know they are using water tanks. A stunt performer was injured filming scenes underwater (and she has thankfully recovered). Possible connection to Númenor being flooded and ruined in a specific catastrophe? Yes, quite possible. Underwater scenes depicting naked people swimming? We just don’t know.
How Tolkien Presented Sexualized Content
He simply didn’t. Tolkien was super-duper Catholic. In his own words to his publisher he expressed the desire for his overall Legendarium to be presented as “‘high’, purged of the gross.” That’s from his famous Letter 131. I’ll get back to it in a bit. He did not write stories in the manner of George R.R. Martin, although the inverse is often true. The word ‘rape’ does not appear in The Hobbit, and only once in LOTR: The Return of the King (even then not referencing a person but a geographical place, Gondor: as in ‘sack’ or ‘pillage’).
There are a few notable instances of non-sexual nudity mentioned in The Lord of the Rings itself: (a) the hobbits’ bath in Crickhollow, (b) the running naked through the grass to clear their hearts and minds after imprisonment by the Barrow Wights, (c) Frodo’s rescue by Sam at the Tower of Cirith Ungol. Perhaps there’s one I missed.
A few stories from The Silmarillion include incredibly dark things like incest; as with Túrin and Niënor. But that wasn’t their fault (poor things) and Amazon Studios does not have the licensing for those particular stories.
That’s not what they’re currently producing.
Tolkien vs. Other Popular Fantasy
I’m more keen to look at Tolkien’s works the way the Professor himself looked at them. He was spiritually and mentally deliberate in everything he did. With his “Sub-Creation” Tolkien meant to celebrate God’s main Creation with such language and artistry as he possessed. This Secondary World of Arda was a vessel of joy and a profound expression of faith. If anyone had a “purity” litmus test for this kind of fantasy it was John Ronald himself, as seen in a nearly 10,000-word letter to his publisher Milton Waldman, from late 1951:
Do not laugh! But once upon a time (my crest has long since fallen) I had a mind to make a body of more or less connected legend, ranging from the large and cosmogonic, to the level of romantic fairy-story, the larger founded on the lesser in contact with the earth, the lesser drawing splendour from the vast backcloths – which I could dedicate simply to: to England; to my country. It should possess the tone and quality that I desired, somewhat cool and clear, be redolent of our ‘air’ (the clime and soil of the North West, meaning Britain and the hither parts of Europe: not Italy or the Aegean, still less the East), and, while possessing (if I could achieve it) the fair elusive beauty that some call Celtic (though it is rarely found in genuine ancient Celtic things), it should be ‘high’, purged of the gross, and fit for the more adult mind of a land long now steeped in poetry. I would draw some of the great tales in fullness, and leave many only placed in the scheme, and sketched. The cycles should be linked to a majestic whole, and yet leave scope for other minds and hands, wielding paint and music and drama. Absurd.
Excerpt from Letter 131, “The Letters of J.R.R Tolkien” (1981), p. 143
Here he admits his original ambitions may have been overreaching. Generations later we find they were not; as many other minds, artists, and hands have since played within Arda. Amazon Studios is playing in that sandbox right now, as I write this. Broadly speaking, Tolkien’s popularity helped launch an entire strata of “High Romantic Fantasy” that changed publishing forever. Previous adaptations of his books to films, plays, games, comics and audio have, by and large, held true to this aesthetic.
Notice how he describes his connected Legendarium with words like “large and cosmogonic,” “splendour,” “elusive beauty,” “majestic,” “steeped in poetry,” and the most revealing of all: “‘high,’ purged of the gross.”
He never uses words like “scatological,” “salacious,” “sexually charged,” “tumescent,” “steeped in carnality,” or “debauched.” If you are even slightly attuned to Tolkien’s stories you know the tone he set. You know the point I’m driving at. I don’t even feel like being subtle anymore.
Look… this is Tolkien telling you why none of his characters masturbate or take a pee break behind the bushes. He’s telling you why his characters are never described in acts of copulation or defecation. Yes they certainly did copulate, but none of that needed to appear; violating his deliberate idiomatic approach that served his own noble purpose. Nobody ever said the word fart in Middle-earth, at least not through the voice of our omniscient narrator. Elsewhere he makes clear his reasoning: the heroic and sympathetic characters do not engage in acts causing revulsion. He leaves that to the Orcs, corrupted enemies, demonic monsters, and their poisoned physical environments; and it greatly heightens the sense of revulsion in the reader by such measured and careful use. Tolkien said that the Orcs’ language (part of their unique cultural brutalism) was far worse than he let on. SO NOTHING IS GRATUITOUS. Not one word is wasted in its application or import.
Professor Tolkien kept the toilets, orgasms, and such other bodily ephemera offstage the entire time. Invisible. Never even suggested. This is high fantasy, remember, and a special kind too. There’s one noticeable exception in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug where Peter Jackson showed Bilbo and the Dwarves climbing into Bard’s house through the secret entrance of, yes, the toilet. Thus the word ‘toilet’ entered Middle-earth dialogue for the first time (Tolkien would have disapproved linguistically at the very least because it’s so damn French); but to some fans this silly, throwaway gag was a red flag that P.J. had *perhaps* missed some of the marks in his adaptation of The Hobbit (amongst other reasons, looking at you Tauriel/Kili/Legolas triangle) compared to the monumental achievement of his previous Trilogy.
Case in point: even the provocative director of the X-rated film Fritz the Cat, Ralph Bakshi, managed to keep it in his pants. His ambitious yet incomplete 1978 animated Lord of the Rings stays in the right lane, true to its high fantasy trope, even though the film is wildly psychedelic in its visual flair. Such a great contrast to his other fantasies Wizards and Fire & Ice which was R-rated “Adult Swim”-fare arriving decades early! Instinctively and thoughtfully, Bakshi knew that Tolkien’s story didn’t need all the Tits & Ass that had previously made the animator the darling of 70’s arthouse cinema. He kept that out of Middle-earth, indulging it elsewhere more suitably for his other films.
I recall my Dad taking me to the movies see John Boorman’s Excalibur when I was just 12. He knew my brother and I were really big on this sword and sorcery thing. Our love of Tolkien was so strong Dad figured the King Arthur legend would be ideal for us but he didn’t comprehend what was behind the “R” rating. I remember so clearly the opening scenes of Uther Pendragon’s sexual assault against Arthur’s mother, arranged by Merlin to conceive the future King. Shocked, my Dad leaned over to check on me—uncertain what to do: “You okay son? This might be too much for you…” I waved him off, “Yeah, I’m fine,” while my retinas were seared permanently with the first sexual act I had ever witnessed in my life. It was inscrutable and jarring to a child. Confusing. Dad wasn’t prepared to discuss the birds and bees and their biological needs, not by a mile. It didn’t overly-phase me, as my young mind was too busy trying to memorize The Charm of Making.
But it would strike me as very odd (and unnecessary) that a future predicament similar to my Father’s might befall parents innocently watching “a Tolkien fantasy show.” Imagine if suddenly you have to press pause, take the smallest children out of the room, and… “have the talk.” Well, you get it.
That was assuredly the moment for me where Tolkien differentiated himself from other fantasy storytellers. Indeed, that distinction was drawn in sharpest relief. Perhaps we are lucky that Mr. Boorman never got to direct LOTR for United Artists (that almost happened for real, but he made Excalibur instead).
“Dawn of the Firstborn Elves” by Ted Nasmith
If you are unfamiliar or never read Tolkien and wanted to get into the fandom, would you want to start with the adaptation that stikes furthest away from Tolkien’s literary sensibilities? One which could be deemed too much for a child to watch?
Sure, there’s more than enough room for all the “adult content” of darkness and otherworldly terrors from Tolkien’s larger span of legends, there is DEFINITELY a place for that! I’m not arguing against any adaptation desirous of that. We can go as far away from the golden-hued fairy story of Bilbo’s journey that you want and go right to the 2nd Age of Sauron-inflicted deceits, treachery, and metaphysical corruption.
But why does it need to be prurient?
The horrors brought upon Númenor end up with Satanic style Morgoth-worship and ghoulish human sacrifices. Body horror? Beheadings? Ripping living hearts from a sacrificial victim? Maybe. But there are no brothels mentioned. No Littlefinger. No orgies.
The Hobbit and LOTR stand rather apart from the most insanely disturbing stuff within The Silmarillion (especially) and Unfinished Tales, so yes, it may yet be that someday we will have a separation of what Tolkien shows/movies you watch with your little ones… and those you just don’t. And now we realize the time may be upon us sooner than we think.
I’m just a guy who knows what he’s getting when he reads Tolkien. I know what I like: the languages, the world-building, the spirit of Arda. There’s a gazillion other styles and idioms of modern fantasy where you can get your fix of anything: be they puppets (The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance) or video games (hey there Witcher).
Now The Witcher comes to mind as a counterpoint to Game of Thrones in terms of sexual portrayals. GoT portrayed so much of its sex negatively, tied to assault and dehumanizing acts (yeah, yeah there’s a wee bit of “romance” in the tub Jaime/Brienne) while in contrast The Witcher is extremely playful and wink-wink (hey, there’s a magic spell for your erectile dysfunction, how cute), and the orgy scene shows a woman completely in charge of its illusory energy. Not a victim at all compared to so many other depictions of female characters in fantasy. Yes, there’s room for all that sexy “insert tab A into slot B” in modern fantasy, as we have seen, but the end results can be widely divergent.
Y’all ready for this? As I said in the Star Wars example at the top of this piece, Amazon’s series might be an adaptation that forever alters how we see Arda.
What Exactly Do We Want From Amazon’s 2nd Age Series?
That’s the big kahuna. The ever-burning question. Observe what’s happening over there in Amazonland/Auckland. They hired a ton of very talented people but let’s focus on a couple of things:
Esteemed Tolkien scholar and author Tom Shippey was only brought on board to help with the Map of Middle-earth that launched their Twitter feed a year ago. There has not been any marketing effort since then and he is confirmed to be no longer on the project. It seemed to be only lip-service to the fans, which does NOT work. That kind of subterfuge will NOT work, Amazon. We don’t know why his name still appears on the Cast and Crew Listing over on IMDb.
John Howe is not currently in New Zealand and does not appear to be working on the production, certainly not in the fullness of his engagement as he was with Alan Lee back in the time of the New Line LOTR Trilogy. He may have provided some work for Amazon’s show but he’s seemingly not now.
Then there’s that one dude that has caused a wee bit of nerves. Bryan Cogman is onboard as a Consulting Producer, after his commanding story work for Benioff and Weiss on HBO’s Game of Thrones. Quite capable and mega-geek-centric, Mr. Cogman however was a focal point of some controversy on that production. Ringers have been quite vocal that the kind of “rapey” Sansa Stark storylines (attributed to Mr. Cogman) would NEVER be the kind of thing they’d want to see in Middle-earth, no matter how gritty you want to get.
Grit and realism have their place. Darkness and light are explored in their extremes. No one is shying away from the more “adult” things Tolkien had in his stories or saying they don’t exist. The real question is to what extent are they going to “sexify” this show for the sake of getting their next Game of Thrones mega-hit? Just look at this from Variety where Jeff Bezos has mandated a programming shift to get what he wants: another GoT.
AMAZON: So you’re okay with accidental incest, human sacrifice, dismemberment, and sins against Eru?
RINGER FANS: Yes! That’s what Tolkien wrote!
AMAZON: But… you’re not okay with depicting sexualized characters having intercourse?
RINGER FANS: Exactly! That’s what Tolkien wrote!
AMAZON: ……
A predictable future tweet
My personal take: What fans want most from any Tolkien adaptation is verisimilitude. Something that carries the true spirit of Tolkien and has integrity in realizing it. Amazon’s showrunners can keep that integrity by staying true to the themes and characters and intent of the author. It is not impossible to guess Tolkien’s intentions when they are so plainly available to us, even though he is gone. #FidelitytoTolkien is a hashtag we have endeavored to use. Not perfect, but it’s a decent axiom to bear in mind.
Seeing anything remotely sexified between Galadriel and Annatar (oooh, a hot young shirtless Sauron in his seduction mode) or anything else like that is going to turn off fans so fast it will cause seismic waves through a very vocal fandom.
There won’t be any coming back from that. 1000’s of fans have replied and quote-tweeted this news with a variety of opinions for and against:
We are starting to see casting calls for actors "comfortable with nudity"
AMAZON DON'T DO IT
DO NOT!
This isn't Game of Thrones. Hedonism did not bring down Numenor.
Does the Tolkien Estate Have “Veto Power” Over the Scripts?
Fact check: Unconfirmed! Well, we have been reporting that they do but it is unclear to what extent that power really exists. It is troubling. The Estate’s authority over the show’s content might not be sacrosanct; indeed it may be limited to keeping the structural frame of the narrative within the existing timelines we know are book-canon. They most likely don’t have final script approval (maybe there’s an infinitesimal chance they do); but it’s more like a general oversight to prevent fundamental alteration to the histories. We have a funny feeling that the two-episode combined pilot they are finishing up will be presented for the Estate’s approval. Time will tell.
But in my mind we’re better off tackling this as a fandom right now, and tell them what we want and don’t want from this Tolkien adaptation. They must listen.
Ringers—I ask you all: Do you want this LOTR to be just a Witcher meets Riverdale series with the branding of Middle-earth slapped on it? Why do I even say that? Because I’m afraid that’s what’s happening. Respected Tolkien twitter scholar The_Tolkienist shared an epic 30-tweet thread on the matter (with plenty of wink wink sarcasm).
One of those threads that hold no provocatively debated issues, points of contention, highly divergent perspectives …
SEXUALITY, TOLKIEN & LOTRONPRIME.
Strap in, a cis het middle-age white male is going to splain.*
Leave your comments on our message boards and social platforms: Twitter, FB, Instagram, knowing that Amazon Studios are definitely listening… and collecting data (!)… and calibrating their next efforts.
If you have a Tolkien/Middle-earth inspired poem you’d like to share, then send it to poetry@theonering.net. One poem per person may be submitted each month. Please make sure to proofread your work before sending it in. TheOneRing.net is not responsible for poems posting with spelling or grammatical errors.
On March 28, 2015 TheOneRing.net livestreamed an interview with animation pioneer Ralph Bakshi to discuss the first-ever “The Lord of the Rings” film (1978), and to parse the differences between homage and rip-off (and the not-so-nebulous chains of inspiration from one artist to another).
Bakshi revealed to us that his Studio’s “LOTR” character designs and artwork were sent down to Three Foot Six in New Zealand; elevating the conversation of his impact on the live-action epic.
The third time’s the charm as our very own Senior Staff writer Clifford ‘Quickbeam’ Broadway is set to deliver an entertaining scholarly presentation on Dec. 10th on the various adaptations of THE HOBBIT that have been crafted over 76 years. In tandem with the excitement of the West Coast Premiere of “The Battle of the Five Armies” local residents of Southern California are welcome to attend this FREE event at the Valencia Library in Santa Clarita, just a little ways north of Hollywood.
Here’s the third of our four semi-final contestants in our 2014 Middle-earth March Madness contest — Aragorn, descendent of the line of Isildur and Elendil, heir to the throne of Gondor and Arnor. In this piece, our own Quickbeam examines just what makes this character tick, and the traits that truly make him … king.
Kingly proof…
by Cliff “Quickbeam” Broadway
Strider, Aragorn, Longshanks, Telcontar, Elessar, and several other names come to mind for this particular character. But the first impression a non-Tolkien outsider would get from a man who has a dozen aliases is that he was probably a criminal. Maybe they’d think he was constantly moving from place to place, switching names because he was the equivalent of a modern-day “identity thief” who was on the lam! Funny how things in our modern world don’t always reflect clearly on mythology.
If you have a Tolkien/Middle-earth inspired poem you’d like to share, then send it to poetry@theonering.net. One poem per person may be submitted each month. Please make sure to proofread your work before sending it in. TheOneRing.net is not responsible for poems posting with spelling or grammatical errors.
[Editor’s Note: Fear not, dear readers, TORn staffer Quickbeam presents our first official review of DOS *spoiler-free* until loudly noted in the later section (with plenty of buffer space) where inquisitive minds may read further with spoiler-iffic abandon.]
The Great Schism: Splendid Smaug Splits Fandom?
or
Hobbit Version 2.0: Jackson Does it Differently
I know it’s been a long year to wait. Ringer fans are going into ‘The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug’ with high hopes for another thrilling chapter in the ongoing saga adapted by our fellow fan, Peter Jackson. Indeed it is thrilling. And indeed it bears all the hallmarks of a P.J. film, replete with energetic action set pieces and gorgeously realized creatures and places that only cinema can properly provide to our senses.
Be forewarned Book Fans, because of the extent DOS deviates from J.R.R. Tolkien’s original, you can bet your bottom dollar there will be a very vocal fan reaction, if not an outright scream of frustration from one or two up in the balcony. The filmmakers have certainly delivered the goods; it is a very enjoyable movie that pretty much blows the audience away with well-crafted storytelling. It is by turns breathlessly paced and frightening and funny and gorgeous (Smaug especially has much of his “muchness”). But by the end credits, it no longer resembles the book you read as a kid, not by a long shot.
Which is something I must mention up front because of the laborious efforts towards fidelity in ‘An Unexpected Journey.’ In fact, much of the LOTR Trilogy was a concentrated effort to (mostly) honor the source material. True, there were odd bits that didn’t ring true to Tolkien; like Faramir dragging the hobbits to Osgiliath and Frodo sending Sam home (piffle) but what happens in DOS is just completely off the rails, especially in the third act.
The horrors brought upon Númenor end up with Satanic style Morgoth-worship and ghoulish human sacrifices. Body horror? Beheadings? Ripping living hearts from a sacrificial victim? Maybe. But there are no brothels mentioned. No Littlefinger. No orgies. 
Here’s the third of our four semi-final contestants in 