This prompted a couple of geeks at insurance giant Allianz — Dr. Nils Möckelmann, consultant for special claims, and Andreas Hufgard, major claims regulator — to run the numbers: exactly how much might an insurance claim for all this injury, death and damage tote up to in the real world?
They’re still working on the property claims, but they say that the personal injury claims would total 3,108,700 Euros. At the present exchange rate, that’s US $4,160,062.34. A fair chunk of change, assuming the insurer would actually out!
Here’s the breakdown of how it all adds up for the pair.
Azog’s lower arm is severed (later re-attached with a prosthetic hook)
* Damages for pain and suffering of EUR 5,000.00 (relatively low, as the bad guy is used to injuries and has an exceptional constitution)
* Treatment costs of EUR 500.00 (good value, as the prosthesis is not attached by a professional, but is effective)
* Damages for loss of earnings of EUR 200 (lead baddie estimated to be out of action for only 2 days due to excellent constitution. The leader’s salary is estimated at EUR 100 per day.
* Damage incurred due to loss of ability to run a household does not apply, as the miscreant cannot convincingly claim that he ever helped his co-habitants with housework.
Three trolls are turned to stone
* There are no known relatives who could make claims, nor was the inheritance (the troll treasure in the cave) claimed.
* Funeral costs do not apply, as the trolls are now acting as their own gravestones.
* Therefore: no loss
100 Orcs are injured, stabbed, decapitated, killed
* Lump sum for damages for pain and suffering of EUR 5,000 per Orc, i.e. a total of EUR 500,000.
* Treatment costs or funeral costs per Orc of a lump sum of EUR 1,000, i.e. total of EUR 100,000.
* Loss of earnings for each surviving Orc equals a lump sum of EUR 100 (receives starvation wage), total of EUR 3,000.
* No damage due to loss of ability to run a household as it is hard to believe that an orc would help with housework.
* As little is known of Orcs’ private lives (do they have wives, children?) it is difficult to calculate any maintenance costs.
25 giant wolves are injured or stabbed, or fall to their deaths
* The giant wolves (Wargs) appear to be owned by the Warg-riders (Orcs).
* Wargs are a species in danger of extinction, meaning that their death is extremely regrettable and the loss is consequently nigh on impossible to compensate. The value of a Warg is estimated to be EUR 100,000, meaning that there is an estimated loss of EUR 2,500,000 for 25 Wargs.
Five stone giants emerge from the Misty Mountains, throw boulders, attack each other and break into a thousand pieces
* This process is presumably classed as a spectacle of nature. The group of Dwarves cannot really be held responsible.
The pair point out that “as the liability insurer of the Dwarves or the wizard Gandalf, we could easily deny cover, since the injuries and deaths were clearly intentional.”
That comes with a rider, though: “due to the Dwarves’ well-known capacity for aggression and the incredible magical power of Gandalf, it could, however, be the case that the administrator would refrain from refusing cover in the interests of customer satisfaction.”
